Carmen

My Life Story...so far

My mother gave birth to me after returning from the shops for some new shoes. On the way home she started to get pains so rested in a bombed out bus shelter after the riots the day before. Luckily for her as because the buses had been diverted, there was a townie quack standing waiting for one and didn’t realise so came to her aid. After what seemed to be a lifetime of pushing and screaming, out popped what I was told was the most ugly little boy you have ever seen. I was shivering so the doctor grabbed my mother’s bag and emptied the shoes out and carefully wrapped me in the Marks and Spencer’s carrier bag.

As a  newly born I  let out my first cry and then passers by stopped to see what was going on as if it wasn’t obvious. The crowd started to grow and gorped through the rubble to see Mother and Son.

The doctor managed to get a cab to take us both home but as they were driving away my mother said she had left her new shoes behind and before she could get the cab to turn round she spotted some scraggy girl running off down the road with them. They caught up with her but she went up an alley into a red light area. My mother shouted through  the window to her  “Give me my shoes back you thieving little whore !”….but she vanished.

After the doctor had settled us back at home and gave her a pound  for the leckie as it had ran out , she asked for his name he replied it was Alex well not already having a name for me she said oh well then and called me after the doctor who had delivered me…..

Well time passed by and I seemed to be a contented child always reading books and magazines and loved to play music in my bedroom. In fact I spent most of my spare time in my room. My only aim in life was to become a DJ but my mother said that wasn’t a proper job and should concentrate on my studies. I was determined to do what I wanted. Well with all the late nights trying to read DJ magazines under the bed clothes with a torch I had to get my first pair of glasses. All my friends teased me and called me a swot.

I Want to Be a Drag Queen...

Throughout puberty I started to change my appearance and spent all my pocket money on makeup and new dresses. Yes in secret to start then I used to go out to see if I was recognised and I wasn’t. Well I enjoyed it so much and it was also an excuse to ditch the specs and it was nice to get away from my milky bar kid image. I really loved sequins but better than those the tacky drag queen’s wear I was class with a capital “C”. I just wanted to be famous like others who made it from Liverpool.

After leaving school and passing all my exams I joined the student union and ended up spinning the discs there a couple of nights a week. I soon got the bug and decided my lifetime ambition had begun. This led to securing a job as a DJ alongside Marlene at Masquerade in Liverpool and I was called Carm’n Storm.

One day I got so fed up with living in Liverpool I decided to go and seek my own fortune somewhere else. With bags packed and a new pair of high heels on I legged it up to Lime street station as fast as my heels could take me. The place was buzzing and all I could hear was people shouting mixed in with the grinding wheels of arriving trains. I spotted a poster on the wall about Blackpool and all the glam and glitz it had to offer. So without further a do I stood in the long queue and bought a single fare to Blackpool North. On the way I took out a magazine to read which passed the time quite quickly.

On arriving at Blackpool and dragged my luggage towards the pub which was opposite I felt parched and needed a drink. After reaching the front door I was met with a boarded up building and a sign saying they had moved.

Then I spotted two raving young queens mincing along the road and got directions for the new place from them, so better still they escorted me down to the venue. Outside the lovely new building of The Flying Handbag I was greeted by a cheeky young chap who asked if I was a real woman well I ain’t being funny so gave him back a mouthful of scouser jip.

Then  he introduced himself as Jay the Manager, well he laughed and we ended up going inside where I collapsed on the couch at the back and after a few laughs and banter, a diet coke and a few fags I was given the chance to DJ in the venue. Well I went down a storm and have never looked back since and now I have worked in every venue that Mr Basil Newby owns…and the rest well that’s just history.

Carmen..... Personality DJ